Brandari 1
Two men are talking in the bar sharing their sob stories. One man says, "I had the worst Freudian slip the other day."
The other man responds, "What the hell is a Freudian slip?" "You know," says the first man. "It's when you mean to say one thing, but you say something else that reveals what you are really thinking about.
Like the other day I was at the airport, and this really sexy lady was helping me. Instead of asking her for 'two tickets to Pittsburgh,' I asked her for 'two pickets to Tittsburgh." The second replies, "Oh, now I know what you are talking about. It's like the other day when I was having breakfast with my wife. I wanted her to pass me the orange juice, but instead I said, 'You ruined my life, bitch!'"
Brandari 2
An extremely ugly woman walks into a store with her two kids. The man at the counter asks, "Are they twins?" The woman says, "No, he's nine and she's seven." Then she says, "Why? Do you think they look alike?" "No," he replies. "I just can't believe you got laid twice!"
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